View source for Elliot/Things Elliot Was Banned From Doing In The USMC

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;<font color=#EEE70B style="font-size: 14pt">explanation of these events</font> : this is a list of things that elliot either a) got in trouble for, or b) was informed he was not allowed to do ever, EVER again.

1: my proper military title is “lance corporal sterling” not “princess anastasia”.<br>2: i am not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.<br>3: i am not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.<br>4: i am not allowed to add “in accordance with the prophesy.” to the end of answers i give to a question an officer asks me.<br>5: i was informed god may not contradict any of my orders.<br>6: i must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.<br>7: i must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.<br>8: I was informed the irish mp's are not "after me frosted lucky charms”.<br>9: i was informed my name is not a killing word.<br>10: i am not allowed to lead a "coup" during training missions.<br>11: i will no longer perform "lap-dances" while in uniform.<br>12: if i take the uniform off in the course of the "lap-dance", it DOES still count.<br>13: when detained by mp's i do not have a right to a strip search.<br>14: i was informed that no, the pants are not optional.<br>15: the revolution is not now.<br>16: i am not allowed to drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.<br>17: nor should i drink three quarts of red food coloring and scream during the same.<br>18: i am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for my actions.<br>19:i am not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.<br>20: lastly, i am not allowed to ask visiting army lieutenant colonel steele to sign my copy of blackhawk down.

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