Difference between revisions of "Whistles of Silent Lucidity"

Latest revision as of 13:13, 4 June 2019

{{ | date=09/17/2018 | cast=

• Wednesday
• Alma
• Note

| place_name=Alma's office in the Hall of Science | place_desc=The door opens inward to an office. There's a wooden desk next to a window. some bookshelfs. a coatrack. Spangly twirly things hang from an articulated desk lamp. Colorful pencils mixed with twigs and leaves fan out from a jar. Next to the desk, a magazine holder is filled with lucite and wood parts for making behavioral puzzles. Along one wall there is a bookshelf crammed with books. One shelf is given over to poetry, fiction, myth, and history. The other wall has enough space to lean a bike against. Sometimes there's dirt on the floor there. The coatrack in the corner has scarves and things hanging from it. some very garish ones too. A crank handle controls a clear plane of glass that is set within an array of glass bricks. It is almost always open regardless of the weather. There's no screen. A rectangle planter of succulents sits on the windowsill. If you peek close you can see an artful display made of found things. There's an ewer of water filled with rocks to put the water in easy reach for a drink. Next to the window there is a magnetic whiteboard surrounded by pictures. | log=Monday September 17, 2018

There's a whistling from the hallway - 'Silent Lucidity' by Queensryche - followed by three knocks - in turn followed by, "Alma, it's Wednesday" in an uncertain tone. On the other side of the door is Wednesday - so he's telling the truth for now - his eyepatch flipped down, but accompanied as usual these days by his satchel and distaff, which gets a curious look from a passerby.

Who else would be whistling in her hallway? Alma says, "Come in."

The door opens, and Wednesday peeks in. This is definitely a peek - his hat bends as his head appears around the door far too early to let all of Wednesday, or his hat, through. Spotting Alma, he smiles warmly. "Hey, nice place." He opens the door the rest of the way, steps a foot in, and hesitates. "Is it okay for me to be here? Some people don't like to mix...work and, well...working." He's saying 'working' /that/ way, the way that means magick but is more paradigmatically neutral, maybe.

Note is there in the window, arranging an earring to hang from a plant. Alma explains, "That bird has already flown the coop," because she wouldn't use a nautical metaphor when a bird one would do. "Come in" She waves him in.

Wednesday eyes Note and closes the door behind him quickly, just in case Alma means something else. Then he has a chance to see the whole of the office, and his gaze pans, lingering on various things - magazine holder, spangly-twirlies, and bookcase especially. "I wanted to talk to you briefly about a discussion I had with Van Der Rohe last night," he finally says, grin fading onto his face, eyebrow cocked.

The window is open. It's open in almost all weather. She never wants Note to feel caged in. "What did she say," Alma asks. "She told me some things that have me considering a move out of Detroit. I might need to go underground." She looks at him with curiosity and regret, "You can use your sight, if you feel like it. But," she admits, "I don't think I can leave, if I want to honor my calling."

"I think she was just trying to express her...displeasure with your decision." Wednesday's grin gets smirkish for a moment, then softens. "And, the Blessing," he gestures to his eyepatch, "it gets burdensome when lots of people are around, so this time of day I don't go onto campus with the patch up. But as to our conversation last night - I talked to her about how you seemed to have left the Chakravanti on amicable terms, according to you, anyway." He holds his hands up - 'wait' they seem to say. "That might be enough for me, but for her - I offered to contact your old mentor to make sure your former Tradition didn't have any grudges. AND I pointed out that unlike her and I, you're been Awakened for a relatively short time, and this could all boil down to a mistaken choice earlier. She seemed to have empathy for that."

That's a complicated flood of emotions. Alma looks thoughtful. "Do you honestly know if she has empathy for me? She might, but I'm not sure she would regret having all of my memories of Detroit burned out of me based on what she told me. She doesn't credit me with any sense or competency. Neither does her partner Aaron. The other day he reacted to me as though I were more of a threat than she thinks. I'm not comfortable here. I'm not comfortable with putting anyone under their authority. I'm glad you are here. I'm glad you are in power."

"She does, I think - have empathy for you, at least when reminded." Wednesday pulls at the base of his beard lightly. "I think Van Der Rohe has severe expectations of people, and is both disappointed and delighted when they don't meet those expectations. Delighted, because it's evidence that she is better - but I think she's disappointed, too." His grin fades. "And I am not 'in power.' I serve." This has some heat behind it - maybe not directed to Alma, but it's like this is the third time he's said it - it's decided, to him.

"I've been thinking about it, Wednesday," Alma says, "I've been worried about power changing you. I'm glad you see it as service and not power. I don't know if you can avoid it. I need to think about it. Anyway, I think I would trust someone being under your evaluation and protection much more than I would trust them being under the evaluation of--" she pauses here wondering what name she shuold use for Alexandra or Emma, "--the others." She searches Wednesday's face. "Is it important what names I use for them and when?"

"Maybe" he says, grin resurfacing. "But I can't tell you that, unless you became me - but then we'd have other problems, like who gets the hat." Wednesday pauses, considering. "Power changes everyone, I think, and of course you know that change isn't bad. I need more power, more knowledge, and I need to work and sacrifice for that." This sounds like a decision, but an ongoing one. He sighs. "But /political/ power isn't what I wanted. If people voted for me, I think that means they want me to make /me/ decisions, until I'm removed. Same for Dr. Durov - they wanted the skeptics in the room where it happens. And for Van Der Rohe - I think people wanted her there because she gets results, and knows how to run some things."

"Do you ever think you have a belief and that you know you have it--but then later something happens makes you realize just how much you didn't know you have the belief you thought you did? That happened to me the other day."

"I'm not sure..." Wednesday's head tilts, and he looks to Alma with curiosity. "Tell me your story, maybe it will remind me?"

Alma considers how many threads to follow. Decides to go with a direct one. "I'm not sure how much story to tell. I think right now I'll just go with a more specific one. But precede it with: I beleive everything is alive. Sometimes that means, it is alive like my hand. Sometimes it means, it is alive like you are. It has personhood. This is like when I told you that maybe crows can be mages too, and we just can't perceive them being mages. In fact, before I studied them, I studied /intelligence/ and /cognition/."

She continues, "-and what it means for intelligence to exist. I learned about artificial intelligence. not a lot, but enough to discuss the philosophies of it. and one thing I thought back then -- what would it mean for information to be alive? for arrangements of information to be alive." She frowns because she's not certain she said enough. "It's a lot for me to think about, much less explain it. I can get on to the specific story that happened to me if you like."

"I think I'd like to hear it." Wednesday leans against a wall, folding his arms across his chest, but leaning towards Alma with interest.

"I can choose to see when people think they believe a truth or not. I can also choose to see if people believe a truth or not. I never really practiced much with both at the same time, but when I learned how badly Maya was hurt, I did. Because I was concerned for some people's safety." Alma looks to Wednesday to see if she should continue.

Wednesday nods along at the end, "Sort of the meta belief, compared to the belief?"

Alma nods. "Yes." She continues. "And I was talking to someone about their condition as well as the well being of another person." She stops to explain something else, "And Wednesday, I have purposefully left myself in the dark about some people. In order to allow for their safety. Like, if I get interrogated by ICE agents? I do not know who is or is not documented, and I do not know where they are or their habits."

She continues, "But because Maya and others were harmed. And because I had been asked to help with something, I had to balance that. I did. In doing so, I found out that someone thinks you are gunning for someone." She looks down, then back up at Wednesday. "I don't think that exactly, but what I do think tracks with a belief like that."

"And then my sight, it told me there was error there. It was like the universe being alive and talking to me." She does hand motions "But wait, I don't ultimately know that right now. I have to explore. But it could very well be. I don't know where the knowing lives. I have to find out. But I want to say, I do not think you are gunning for someone. I do not think as strongly that you will harm someone. I think, if someone--if someone came under someone's power, I would rather it be yours than," she stops to evalulate, "perhaps anyone else in the Chantry aside from myself. Not Alexandra. She is dark--I don't knwo if it is what they call jhor. I have not seen her enough to know. I hold that judgement in reserve. Not Emma. She has equipment she uses--it might be like how mental patients were treated, back in the 20th century. or even now. You."

"And I'm under no illusion that you would be in any way 'nice'. Or that you are in any way not... I don't know the real words for it. But, I trust your judgement and actions more than I trust theirs."

"I don't know how much you understand me, since I don't always understand myself in a... verbal way. Or things. But, I maintain paradox in my head. Not the capital P kind. Another kind. It's... the distance between two contradictary things, or among n contradictory things? It's where the... something like god or like energy lives. and omewhere there is no contradiction."

Wednesday listens, head at various degrees of tilt, leaning forward at times. His eye narrows, then widens. When Alma finishes, Wednesday sighs - and a grin begins to form. "I think I see."

Alma asks Wednesday, tentatively. "What was the sigh about?" She wants to know lots of things, but that is a good start.

Wednesday considers Alma for a moment, grin still in place. "I'm tired of losing frith because of secrets. I am angry with being made into a threat by other's actions. I could have let Ragnarok descend on some people weeks ago, if I were the man they want me to be." The grin grows wider. "Fuck. Them."

Alma grins! With glee! "Fuck everything!" But then she sobers and apologizes. "I'm sorry about it, but I feel like I have to protect people. I hope one day to be able to tell you everything. I don't know what frith is, but I'm sorry." She grins again. "Woa you are so cool! Ragnarok! DOOOOOM. I mean, I wouldn't literally be happy about Ragnarok. But anyay, you're so bad-ass. Maybe I can borrow your hat." She tips a fake hat.

She pauses in some consideration. "Wrong. I was wrong. Belief, meta-belief--AND fact. true or false fact. Not just hte beliefs. It was very disconcerting." She looks disturbed, then bucks her self up. Remembers the destructive glee.

Her response breaks the grin mask - for just a second, Wednesday looks confusedly at Alma, then barks out laughter. "Maybe not actual Ragnarok," he admits, shaking his head when the laughter wears out. "Frith - is like peace with your family, peace with kindred, or within your village. Your people, at peace - no drama." The implication is that Alma is in Wednesday's metaphorical village. "One day I'll have it, and it will feel so good to win it." He takes a deep breath. "I'm happy to hear you recognize you were wrong. There's no feeling in the world like consciously knowing that your ideas were wrong, and have that freedom to change towards more truth."

Alma laughs along with Wednesday and watches with an open and earnest expression on her face as he explains Frith. Kinship makes her think of connections among people. She nods very enthusiastically when explains that feeling and freedom to change towards truth. "Yes! I always want this feeling. If I don't have it then something is wrong with me. I need freedom to be wrong--"

"this is one thing that first disturbed me so much about your rule of three. I was glad when you explained it more to me because I saw how much I didn't understand it. I still don't understand it, but it is not as frightening, and it makes you less frightening in turn. For a few moments, I was afraid to talk to you because I can never have certainity in what I say. It would be a prison."

She caps off that thought again, "I'm glad in how I was mistaken about that." Then picks up a thread about frith. "I like this word. Frith. I think I'll hold on to it for now. It will help me think. I have things like that that I don't have all the words for."

"It's also possible that the...the rule of three...doesn't apply to you. It applies to most people, I think, but..." Wednesday shrugs, "it might be a little much to say that it always applies to all people. We know how flexible the worlds are."

"I spend a lot of time thinking about stuff like that. I like it when people give me more to understand. What you just said, it's going to stick with me for a while. Maybe it will change shape for me." Something starts to distract her. "Say... did you see the nose about the grave robbing? I have to look in to that. but... did you see the news about the boars?! I need help not being gored while I look in to the grave robbing. I'm not good at not being gored while I am not paying attention to the present."

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